Hope’s song – The April Journal

I can’t win.

No matter what I do, it’s never enough.

There’s always something;

I always come up short

I want to hide from life,

Burrow deeper in the recesses of my mind.

It’s my safe place.

The place where I can detach and watch from a distance.

The hope, always, always, is to gain clarity.

But it’s been a while now, and the view is still not clear.

It’s like troubled waters, muddled, spitting dirt, grime, and confusion.

It’s a lost cause!

But somehow, I still cannot let go.

And I do not know why.

This thing I’m holding on to, is it hope?

This thing that tells me to go one more step,

Live one more day,

Give it another try.

I have no reasons to believe for better days.

I will sink if I stop going.

There is a beacon guiding me.

It is both far away and close to me.

If I keep my eyes on it, it is near.

If I look at the raging storm, it is far.

There is a lighthouse.

I cannot lose sight of it.

Otherwise, I will be lost.

So I keep going, even though the wind is contrary,

Eyes on the light.

Because, if I sink, where would I go?

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